The Worst Thing About The Internet

I feel old when I say this, but it's true.

I remember what it was like before the internet. It's true. I know there are a lot of people in that same boat, but as the boat gets full, the number of people NOT on the boat becomes larger.

Every day that passes, another person will be born who will have no idea what it was like before the internet. What it was like before cell phones. What it was like without HDTV. I mean, dude, it was a long time ago, but I remember not using cable. True story.

A few years ago, when trying to organize a "meet and greet" with a band at a concert. The band was late. The winners were late. Everyone was late. Thankfully, we all had cell phones and could relay our lateness to one another. A few days later, I was talking about the experience with the record rep who was at the other end of many of the phone calls. She's one of my favorites, and has been in the business for a long time.

I said to her, "man, what did we do without cell phones when we used to do this stuff."

She said to me, "I guess we were just all on time."

Imagine that.

Regardless, I do think that the positives and the advantages of the internet in particular far outweigh the negatives. I like being able to buy and download a song immediately when I feel like hearing it. I like how quickly news travels. I like watching pictures of a hamster making a dramatic face thousands of times.

Isn't this blog titled "the worst thing about the internet?" Yes. It is. I'm getting there.

So I remember, before the internet, reading record reviews in Rolling Stone magazine. Reading record reviews in Rip or Circus or Hit Parader. Actually, I'm not sure those last 3 had them. I definitely read them in Rolling Stone and Spin though. I remember most of the time reading them and shaking my head.

"What the fuck does this guy know about _______?"

The answer I guess, was no more or no less than I did. Sometimes I agreed, sometimes I didn't, but the review was rarely helpful. Most reviewers were faceless writers, whose opinion meant very little to me.

True story, the only album I've ever bought because of a review was "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" by Wilco. I went out and bought it after I read about it Rolling Stone. What a horrible album. If I wasn't so lazy I would have returned it.

An aside and another true story. The only album I ever DID return was "Grave Dancers Union" by Soul Asylum. I hated it. I returned it and got a Queensryche album. I guess in retrospect, the Soul Asylum record was a good record. Boy did I hate it though. I took it back to The Wall.

"I want to return this."

"Why?"

"It sucks."

"Everyone I know likes it."

"Well, I think it sucks."

Finally, I get to the point. The point is now, because of the internet, there are THOUSANDS more reviews from people who I don't care about. Thousands more people sharing their ill-informed, self-important view of what songs and albums are good and what aren't.

WAIT JUST A MINUTE SPIKE.

Yes?

DON'T YOU DO THAT?

Absolutely. It's not the first or the last time I'll do something that I think is acceptable for me to do, but unacceptable for others. The double standard is not something I invented, nor is it something that you've never participated in, so leave me alone. I'm sure the blogs and reviews infuriate and annoy most people.

The problem is that radio DJ's (amongst others) can garner an audience to read what they think on the internet. Most of us have horrible opinions and even worse taste. And now, the internet is flooded with them. Opinions. Regular people who can paint themselves as experts on the internet.

Not just reviews of albums either. About EVERYTHING. Reviews of TV shows and movies and their walk in the park. I used to make fun of 15 year old goth girls blogging about the sandwich they ate and why no one likes them. All of the sudden, we're all that fucking goth girl.

There has been a interesting (I guess) internet discussion about the sound quality of the new Metallica record. People comparing levels and if it's clipping and 256k and 320k and WAV and mp3 files. Regular, every day people. I found it interesting. I forwarded it to a friend of mine, who is a big Metallica fan.

He made a good point. He said, "all of these idiots who listen to 128k mp3's all day long are complaining? How do they know the difference. Everyone should just stop pretending to be some kind of audiophile and shut the fuck up." He's right.

Everyone should practice a little more "shut the fuck up" and maybe clean the internet up a little bit. Maybe everyone shouldn't blog every time they have a good meal or think their boyfriend's cute or decide to review an album, or a song, or a movie, or a TV Show. Maybe everyone should take some time to shut the fuck up.

Except I guess, for me.