I'm not interesting enough to be on television. That's probably why I haven't been on television. Not interesting or good looking enough. Scratch that, I was on television once. When I was about 10 years old, I was in a "Happy Holidays" commercial with my dad on Channel 3. It was the entire news staff of Channel 3, and the two hosts of Evening Magazine, Nancy Glass and Ray something. I forget Ray's name. In any case, the best part is that the one scene with me and my father was he and I looking up the chimney, for Santa. Two Jews, looking up the chimney for Santa. Classic.
I don't have any great desire to have a television career, however, I'd guess like most other people, being on TV seems like a cool thing to do.
So let me take you to about 2-3 months ago at an auction for the incredible, awesome charity PAL (Police Athletic League). There were several packages, all out of my price range. I went into it however, deciding that I was going to spend some money, give to a good cause, and get something cool.
I was priced out of the couple of packages that I targeted. One however, caught my eye that I hadn't noticed before.
"The Pampering Package."
Now, you might say, "Spike, that sounds like a package for a woman." Well, that's where you'd be wrong.
See, the package included a spa day for two at the Joseph Anthony Salon, 2 nights at the Loews Hotel on New Year's Eve and New Year's Night, some other assorted things, along with a makeover for two on the 10! show on NBC.
Ok, so I guess it does sound like a package for a woman. That's what she said. No time.
Anyway, the notion of being on TV caught my eye, and the bidding was slow. I'd have had it for less, but Beasley Reese (who was doing the right thing by driving up the price), did a good job of making me pay more for it. Still, it was within what I decided I could spend, and I won the package.
I was excited for everything, truly, but the thing I was most excited for was to be on television. My girlfriend, who would accompany me, was very excited as well. Probably because SHE'S A GIRL AND GIRLS LIKE MAKEOVERS. I've never been accused of being very masculine though, so I shared her excitement.
As I discovered when I got there, there isn't much you can makeover with a guy who has short hair and basically takes good care of himself. They made my hair a little darker, they gave me a button down shirt. I had a great time. I got to shoot Mario Lopez some dirty looks. Everyone was cool, the girl from State Of Grace, the people from Joseph Anthony Salon, and the gentleman who sent over my clothes from Pants in Bryn Mawr. Everyone at the 10! show as well, including Bill Henley, who kept telling me that my girlfriend was pretty, but I needed a lot of work. Thanks, Bud. By the way, Lori Wilson told me I was hot.
Jackie, my dear girlfriend, had a great time as well, and is clearly much better looking than I am.
I will soon have the behind the scenes video. Until then, enjoy.
oh my god.
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